Reply to my Uncle Stephen
For those who don't know, my mother is one of 10 children. There're 4 girls and 6 boys (is that right?) Big family. One of my uncles is called Stephen:
While the musical gene in our family seems to have skipped him, he is intelligent and funny (he thinks he is) and very good hearted. At the moment he is busy doing a fine job at bringing up his three children. Hardest job in the world and well beyond me.
In a comment on a previous post he said some stuff that started me thinking.
One thing was 'be true to yourself'. . .I thought about it and after a while came to the conclusion that I was being true to myself already. Part of my job is to be fake...with parents, sometimes with colleagues and with kids, there's a fair bit of acting required in HK, luckily I am very 'GA' as the Hongers say. All that doesn't mean I'm not being genuine. Although I work like a pig, and smile like an idiot when I want to do neither, I am very relaxed here and I'm being myself. I think Wai Yin also would say I was guilty of being a little bit fake sometimes, actually Stephen and Wai Yin say similar things often.
Another thing he mentioned was . . ."go out there and do stuff...try to get some life stories for your kids". Well! ehem, I live 'out there' unc!
My life is richer and fuller than it ever was. "Bars and pubs"? I know that's the normal way people get excitement but to be blunt, the real reason they go to bars and pubs is cos' the reast of their life is dull. If I want to go to a crowded noisy place full of folks trying to look sexy, I don't need to go to a bar or a club, all of Hong Kong is like that.
Let me now take a moment to nail the biggie: Kids.
I admire people (like my uncle stephen) who go into parenthood knowing what they are doing, and do a good job of it as far as I can see. Priorities and sacrifice are the words and I think it is a serious and demanding commitment. For sure the most important job in the world, no competition. Kaz, me and other members of the family have not had stable childhoods, nobody's fault, just shows how hard the job is to do right.
I must be honest and say that I have searched my feelings on many occasions, looking for the instinct to have kids and the desire for a family, I can't find it. I don't feel like I want to have any children. Is there something wrong with that? Maybe there is? What do you think? Leave a comment so I know what you think.
While the musical gene in our family seems to have skipped him, he is intelligent and funny (he thinks he is) and very good hearted. At the moment he is busy doing a fine job at bringing up his three children. Hardest job in the world and well beyond me.
In a comment on a previous post he said some stuff that started me thinking.
One thing was 'be true to yourself'. . .I thought about it and after a while came to the conclusion that I was being true to myself already. Part of my job is to be fake...with parents, sometimes with colleagues and with kids, there's a fair bit of acting required in HK, luckily I am very 'GA' as the Hongers say. All that doesn't mean I'm not being genuine. Although I work like a pig, and smile like an idiot when I want to do neither, I am very relaxed here and I'm being myself. I think Wai Yin also would say I was guilty of being a little bit fake sometimes, actually Stephen and Wai Yin say similar things often.
Another thing he mentioned was . . ."go out there and do stuff...try to get some life stories for your kids". Well! ehem, I live 'out there' unc!
My life is richer and fuller than it ever was. "Bars and pubs"? I know that's the normal way people get excitement but to be blunt, the real reason they go to bars and pubs is cos' the reast of their life is dull. If I want to go to a crowded noisy place full of folks trying to look sexy, I don't need to go to a bar or a club, all of Hong Kong is like that.
Let me now take a moment to nail the biggie: Kids.
I admire people (like my uncle stephen) who go into parenthood knowing what they are doing, and do a good job of it as far as I can see. Priorities and sacrifice are the words and I think it is a serious and demanding commitment. For sure the most important job in the world, no competition. Kaz, me and other members of the family have not had stable childhoods, nobody's fault, just shows how hard the job is to do right.
I must be honest and say that I have searched my feelings on many occasions, looking for the instinct to have kids and the desire for a family, I can't find it. I don't feel like I want to have any children. Is there something wrong with that? Maybe there is? What do you think? Leave a comment so I know what you think.
posted by Mr.Thomas at 11:49
4 Comments:
I don't think your feelings are wrong. I think you just know when you want to have kids, it won't be found like a book. It presents itself when the time is right. Like falling in love.
hello mister thomas! i couldn't resist the invitation to comment on ur blog entry (entries).
so, a simple yes/no? no, u're not weird - u're perfectly normal (like me?! HAHAHAAAA... manic laughter). havin kids? some do, some don't, some want to but can't, others don't want to but do. all mapped out in His wonderful plans for each individual. great stuff. that doesn't exactly answer ur question but at the end of the day, only One knows right?
btw, ur comments on being real/true to self/preoccupation with the self etc. - that strikes a chord. (can't u just see us havin a good ol' natter abt existentialism... or something or other philosophical? soon...) that age-old question that has doubtless tortured many a soul - so, who am i? can't wait to discuss/debate that one.
really really glad u decided to start a blog - mine has been in a coma for a while. maybe it's time for a defrost...
thanks yan, spose you're right. easier for a guy, not working to a timetable!
:sa: . . .I'm not sure who you are! But you write a mean (good) comment! I recon you're Lisa. . .right? For sure let's chat. Never knew you had sutch a way with words. pls. point me toward your blog if you start it up again!
:sa: is SARAH SHUM!!!! now I know.
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