Reply to my Uncle Stephen

For those who don't know, my mother is one of 10 children. There're 4 girls and 6 boys (is that right?) Big family. One of my uncles is called Stephen:
While the musical gene in our family seems to have skipped him, he is intelligent and funny (he thinks he is) and very good hearted. At the moment he is busy doing a fine job at bringing up his three children. Hardest job in the world and well beyond me.
In a comment on a previous post he said some stuff that started me thinking.

One thing was 'be true to yourself'. . .I thought about it and after a while came to the conclusion that I was being true to myself already. Part of my job is to be fake...with parents, sometimes with colleagues and with kids, there's a fair bit of acting required in HK, luckily I am very 'GA' as the Hongers say. All that doesn't mean I'm not being genuine. Although I work like a pig, and smile like an idiot when I want to do neither, I am very relaxed here and I'm being myself. I think Wai Yin also would say I was guilty of being a little bit fake sometimes, actually Stephen and Wai Yin say similar things often.
Another thing he mentioned was . . ."go out there and do stuff...try to get some life stories for your kids". Well! ehem, I live 'out there' unc!
My life is richer and fuller than it ever was. "Bars and pubs"? I know that's the normal way people get excitement but to be blunt, the real reason they go to bars and pubs is cos' the reast of their life is dull. If I want to go to a crowded noisy place full of folks trying to look sexy, I don't need to go to a bar or a club, all of Hong Kong is like that.

Let me now take a moment to nail the biggie: Kids.
I admire people (like my uncle stephen) who go into parenthood knowing what they are doing, and do a good job of it as far as I can see. Priorities and sacrifice are the words and I think it is a serious and demanding commitment. For sure the most important job in the world, no competition. Kaz, me and other members of the family have not had stable childhoods, nobody's fault, just shows how hard the job is to do right.
I must be honest and say that I have searched my feelings on many occasions, looking for the instinct to have kids and the desire for a family, I can't find it. I don't feel like I want to have any children. Is there something wrong with that? Maybe there is? What do you think? Leave a comment so I know what you think.

Life is random?

Home now after a looong week with the weekend to enjoy. Have lots to do unfortunately so as normal the highlight of my two days off will be a nice beef curry and a footie game, this time Spurs play on Sunday in a real grudge match against a struggling newcastle. Three points and a friendly set of results from other teams could see us 6th. Newcastle are the new Tottenham and Tottenham are the new Newcastle. Martin Jol has the right blend of sardonic realism, along with a dash of uncompromising ambition. This season, maybe Europe, next season. . . .
Oh yes, got sidetracked there. Today after my enhancement class, about 6:30pm I was chatting to a student about life. He has some family problems that means he has to move to Australia, all Happened in the space of two weeks. He's a well loved and respected student leader, very musical, respected by his peers and loved by the younger forms. He looked me square in the face and said. 'I think life is random'
I don't know how much I disagree with him. I do disagree to a degree but I don't know how much. I know God intervienes, but I know he doesn't always interviene.
Just watching the Aston Villa Newcastle game...waiting for the fight.....

ooopsie

ok, now I have fixed the problem and, if you'd like you can anonymously leave comments. twenty past ten and I'm off to bed with Agatha Christy on my ipod....

Hi.

(Wait. . . .don't think I can be sincere yet. . . .wait. . .)
Hi everyone. After reading the entertaining, insightful and original contributions of old friends like Dez, Bert, Henry, Kalun and others, (nope, still not sincere. . . . wait) I felt compelled to share my feelings with the universe too. Why did these people write blogs? The ones I mentioned are all highly smart, so. . ., Let's be 'avin you. Why? I don't know why I've done it.

Here I am in Hong KOng.
I certainly wouldn't swap it. What a challenging life I have here. No time to be super self aware and think too much. (Henry, come, take your mind of things mate!) In the UK I was certainly guilty of thinking about myself too much. Some friends mistook my quick glances in all available mirrors for vanity. No, no, no. I was looking 'for' myself, not 'at'. (not sincere yet...please wait....)
I am too busy to think and that suits me fine. Maybe the best way HK has helped me is to turn me into . . . (puts coffee down, cracks toe-knuckles and clears throat) . . . a quite hard working person! 12 hrs most days with three or 4 at the weekend. My record stands at a 7:30am to 3:45am working day. I truly don't mean to boast. There's nothing admirable in that. Quite stupid. Not healthy. OK, now that I've shared my pain I can move on.

I hope to become more sincere . . .(bit self concious at the moment) as I post more and would like to share some of my daily goings on with interested friends and family through this page. I often think 'I wish Mark (my brother) was here to see that' or I feel as though I want to share something with Wai Yin or Sarah, or think 'wonder if Kaz (my sis.) would be brave enough to speak in one of my lessons' or thousands of such moments. So, Dearest precious friends and family, I'm thinking of you as I write. (...not yet....wait. .)